Who....ME?!

Self awareness is the most important attribute you start to gain as you age. Or at least some do. If we were given a piece of paper and asked to write the top 10 things that describe ourselves, how well do you think they would match with the 10 things everyone would write about us? Now, don't get me wrong, I never want anyone to live their lives to impress anyone else, although we are all guilty. There is an old saying that says, "you would stop worrying about what everyone thinks about you if you knew how rarely they do". I am talking about deep down truths. It's hard to do, shining a light on oneself is sometimes painful.
We would all like to rattle off the things we learned as a child in girl or boy scouts, honest, trustworthy, etc. But how many would be brave enough to go to the core of who we are a person?
I am impatient, I know it, recognize it, and try to work on it, but it's still there. I am a bit of a slob, I always have 10 projects going and run out of time to clean them all up. I like shopping way more than I should, although with my Ebay business, I have produced an excuse. I hate confrontation, sometimes to my own detriment and those around me. I would always rather ignore things and hope they will go away. I feel a need to fix broken people, and it has hurt me in my life probably more than anything else.
Now, what I will tell you is, I have been that way from a very small child. What does this mean? People fundamentally do not change. Sure, we get better at hiding it, or may honestly be aware and working on it, but we don't really change much deep down.
How can we use this information? Well, if you are dating someone and they tell you, "I am selfish, and have lived my life for me for so long, that I don't know how I would be in a relationship"....believe them. AND, if you don't, then don't complain, you were told. If someone tells you, "I have a temper and I have a had time controlling it", believe them. If you are an employer and hiring someone, if the applicant says "I left those last 2 jobs because I didn't agree with their management style", trust me, give it 3 months and they will be saying the same about you.
This realization is important when you chose a mate, a friend,an employer, an employee, a church, a political party and on and on.
People tell you loud and clear who they are if you give them enough time. You can't love them out of it, you can't be controlling enough to stop it.
It is like an addict trying to get sober, but really don't recognize themselves as an addict. We all want to think we are in control, but are we really? That is why the #4 step in AA says and I quote, 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Don't we all need to do that? The 12 steps have lessons for all of us, even if we don't have an alcohol addiction. You can substitute your vices in all the lines of each step posted below.
It is all about growth, self awareness and personal responsibility.
THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
Copyright A.A. World Services, Inc.